


Lost Along the Way

by VarjoRuusu



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Brief John Silver/Captain Flint, Eventual John/Thomas/James, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Thomas Hamilton/Captain Flint - Freeform, post 4.10, prompt fills
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2018-12-18 15:11:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11877156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VarjoRuusu/pseuds/VarjoRuusu
Summary: “I thought I could beat the storm back,” John mumbled when his hands were wrapped around the warm cup and Thomas was toweling his hair dry lightly. “I miscalculated.”---So this is going to be a collection of installments from prompts that is condensing into on story. A lot of people have asked for what happened before the original work, which will be reposted here. It's going to be marked as complete, but if I'm inspired to write more, I'll be adding to this little verse.





	1. Chapter 1

Thomas stared out the window, biting his lip. The island was dark, the storm raging, the yard lighting up every other minute as lightning flashed across the sky. The ground was soaking into mud already as the rain poured, beating on the roof relentlessly. He’s already arranged at least six pots and bowls to catch the leaks that had started as the rain grew heavier and heavier and he was just preparing to get his cloak when the door banged open and John tumbled through. 

Thomas rushed forward to catch him, wrestling the door shut again as John sagged against him, crutch clattering to the floor. He was soaked, not that that came as any surprise, but Thomas was already moving to shed the clothes even as he registered that John was shivering. 

“Where were you?” he murmured as he maneuvered John into a chair by the fire, pulling his shirt off and working on his boot and trousers.

“I had to go to town this morning,” John managed through chattering teeth. He managed to push himself up so that Thomas could strip the last of the cold wet cloth from him and then he curled deep into the chair, arms wrapped around himself. 

Thomas grabbed a towel and tossed it over John’s hair before wrapping him in a heavy blanket that he’d left warming by the fire, then bustling around with the kettle making tea, laced with a heavy pour of rum. 

“I thought I could beat the storm back,” John mumbled when his hands were wrapped around the warm cup and Thomas was toweling his hair dry lightly. “I miscalculated.”

“You could have told me you were going,” Thomas mumbled, injecting more irritation into his voice than he actually felt. “Do you have any idea how worried I was? When it got dark and you weren’t back…and then the lightning, the rain…I didn’t even know which way to go to look for you.”

“I’m sorry,” John muttered, catching Thomas’ hand and placing a kiss against his knuckles. 

“Next time at least leave a note,” Thomas said quietly, crouching down in front of him. John smiled tentatively and Thomas rolled his eyes, settling on his knees and leaning forward, kissing John softly.

“We should get you into bed, you’re still shivering,” Thomas said after a moment.

“Naked?” John asked as he allowed Thomas to take the empty cup and tug him into a standing position, one arm thrown around his shoulders as they made their way down the hall to the bedroom.

“Obviously,” Thomas chuckled. “Body heat.”

Once they were both bare and settled under a heavy pile of blankets, curled together as John’s shivering finally subsided, Thomas ran a hand through his hair and spoke softly. 

“Why did you go to town?” he asked quietly. “Was there word?”

“No,” John said quietly. “Nothing. There’s been no sign of him.”

Thomas nodded, wrapping his arms more tightly around John and wondering just when, if every, James was going to come back. It had been almost six months since he’d vanished one morning, not long after John had tracked down their small home on the far side of New Providence Island, hiding in plain sight of anyone looking. He’d just gone one morning, leaving Thomas and John to pick and put together shattered pieces that he left behind.

“I miss him,” John muttered and Thomas sighed, nodding. 

They’d grown closer day by day until they were as familiar with each other as if they’d known each other for years, and finally, a few weeks before, they’d started sharing a bed and Thomas had admitted he was as hopelessly in love as when he’d first met James. 

“He’ll come back,” John said softly, rolling so he was facing Thomas, nose buried against his collarbone. “He has to come back.”

“Am I so boring?” Thomas chuckled and John shook his head. They both knew what he’d really meant, and Thomas was only trying to lighten the mood. 

“Love you,” John mumbled, kissing Thomas’ chest softly, voice hazy with sleep and Thomas smiled, pressing a kiss to his hair. 

“I love you too, you hopeless pirate king,” he mumbled, smiling wider when John chuckled weakly, his fingers tightening around Thomas’ arm before he drifted off to sleep. 

Thomas stayed awake, long into the night, memorizing the feel of John in his arms, unwilling to ever take human contact for granted again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A slight prequel to chapter 1.

John fidgeted with his fork, watching Thomas shoving food around his plate. He was worried, and rightly so. James had been been gone three days, vanishing into the evening with nothing more than a note that John hadn't even seen the full contents of on the kitchen table that said he’d be back soon. John was beginning to suspect there was more to it than that. 

“Thomas?” he said quietly and Thomas glanced at him. 

“It’s nothing,” he said quietly.

“You haven’t even touched your food. What’s really going on? Where has he gone?”

Thomas sighed. He looked at John for a long time before he dug in his pocket and produced a worn piece of paper. John took it as Thomas stretched out his hand and unfolded it, reading the words. He couldn’t believe his eyes.

“He went back to England?” he asked, astounded. James’ note to Thomas was far more detailed, including telling him to break it to John carefully after a few days. According to the slightly smudged words he’d gone back to England to deal with one last person who had been responsible for everything that happened so many years before. 

“Why can’t he just let it go,” John whispered, barely resisting the urge to crumple the paper in his fist. It looked like Thomas had already done that, several times. 

“He can’t…he won’t until he know’s we’re all safe,” Thomas said quietly.

“Do you know who he’s after?”

Thomas nodded. “My uncle,” he said quietly. “He was the one who dealt with everything, who arranged my stint in Bethlam, arranged my transfer to the plantation. My father washed his hands of me, let his brother do all the work. James wants to kill him for it, the way he killed my father. I should never have told him it was Albert who did it all. He was better thinking he’d avenged it with my father’s blood.”

John gave in to the impulse to reach over and take Thomas’ hand on top of the table and Thomas gripped his fingers tightly. 

“When he gets back, I’ll kill him,” John said quietly and Thomas laughed, tears welling in his eyes. 

John knew it must be hell on him, to be separated from James again so soon after they found each other again. Things were complicated between all three of them, probably always would be. John had tracked down their little house about three weeks before and had been told to stay when he nearly turned around and left again. The one and only night he and James had shared a bed was the night before he left. 

Now John sighed, standing awkwardly with his crutch and tugging Thomas’ hand.

“Come on, lets go to bed. You look like you need to be held,” he said softly and Thomas managed a small smile, wiping away the tears that had began to fall. He nodded, pulling his hand away long enough to go over and bank the fire, before curling his fingers with John’s again and following him to one of the bedrooms. 

They curled together under the covers, fully dressed and arms wrapped tightly around each other, lost in their own thoughts, their own worries, wondering when James would come back. If he would come back.


	3. Promise me you'll take care of him

“James, what are you doing?” Thomas said softly and James froze, hand on the door. He turned his head slowly, glancing at Thomas over his shoulder.

“Something I have to do,” he said quietly. 

“How long?” Thomas asked, knowing arguing with James was futile. He had a better change arguing with a wall. 

“I don’t know. I left a letter. You should read it,” James said, looking away.

“How can you leave? How can you just walk away again?” Thomas asked, voice shaking. He wouldn’t cry, he wasn’t willing to give James that.

“Thomas, this is something I have to do, please understand that,” James said quietly. “And I need you to do something for me.”

“What,” Thomas whispered, gripping the table hard as he leaned against it. 

James turned and crossed the room, catching Thomas up in a hard kiss and tugging them together. Thomas wrapped his arms around James, kissing him desperately, knowing it would be the last for weeks, months, maybe ever if he was hurt. They pulled back, breathing hard, and Thomas refused to open his eyes, resting his forehead against James’ hands around the back of his neck. 

“I need you to make me a promise,” James said softly and Thomas took a breath, nodding.

“I need you to promise you won’t let anything happen to him. To either of you. I want you to protect each other,” he said so softly Thomas barely heard.

Thomas’ heart twisted, thinking of the way James and John had looked at each other when John had first arrived, the way they’d watched each other for two weeks before Thomas finally gave James the most pointed look he could and went for a very long walk down to the ocean and back. He’d smiled when he found them curled together on John’s bed, covered only by a thin sheet and sound asleep. 

“And if you don’t come back?” Thomas asked, unwilling to ignore reality. 

“Take care of him. Let him take care of you,” James said quietly. “I love you.”

A moment later he was gone, the door shutting behind him and Thomas was left shivering, arms closed around himself as he turned away and let the tears fall.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Between chapters 2 and 3

“How can you even stand to look at me?” John asked suddenly and Thomas turned away from the fire, raising his eyebrows at him.

James had been gone for three weeks and since the night they’d fallen asleep holding each other, Thomas and John had hardly spoken. They’d wandered around the small cottage like ghost, one of them occasionally laying a hand on the other’s shoulder, giving some small comfort. Thomas spent most of his time in the garden or fixing the cottage, while John either walked to the edge of the cliff nearby and stared at the sea, or sat by the front window and stared at the path coming up from the small cove where the sloop John had arrived in had been anchored. No doubt James had taken it, but neither of them had ventured down to check.

“What do you mean?” Thomas asked quietly, shifting the kettle and pouring hot water in the teapot, the lid clinking gently as the china slotted into place.

“You’ve only heard his side of the story,” John mumbled. “You’ve never heard mine.”

“Tell me then,” Thomas said, setting down the pot and two cups, pouring tea for both of them after it sat for a minute.

John looked away, out the window to where he could just see the sea on the horizon.

“I...don’t know how to start. When I found out about you, what you’d been to him, my first thought was so stupid I looked at myself and thought ‘you fool.’ My first thought was that perhaps I didn’t need to hide my feelings from him after all. Nothing came of it before I found out you were still alive and by then...”

“By then?” Thomas prompted when John trailed off and stayed silent for a long time. 

“I loved him too much to be that selfish. I knew I had to find you, I knew I had to bring you back together. But then...things at the Maroon camp went bad and I couldn’t stay any longer, I just...it wasn’t fair to her, to any of them. Someone had tipped off the redcoats that I was near the island and they started snooping around. I couldn’t put them all in that kind of danger again and so I left. I didn’t even know where I was going, then I started following whispers and things that sounded like...I didn’t really expect it to lead me here, to both of you.”

Thomas nodded as Silver fell silent again. 

“You don’t know what he told me,” Thomas said quietly and John looked away from the sea, instead focusing on the colour of Thomas’s eyes, trying to hold his emotions in check.

“He told me what you just did,” Thomas admitted. “He told me that once he stepped back, looked at the whole picture...once he wasn’t blinded by rage, he realised why you’d done it. That’s you’d done it out of love. Why do you think he let you stay with us?”

John bit his lip, looking away again as a tear ran down his cheek. He’d nearly cried that day in the glade, the day he’d held a gun on James, and he’d kept it inside. He’d only cried later, when he was alone on the cliff, watching the sea. Now, sitting in the small kitchen with Thomas, everything was breaking free and the past few years of pain were becoming too much to keep bottled up any longer.

Thomas rose slowly, sliding onto the bench next to John, wrapping the other man up tightly in his arms, releasing a sigh of relief when John curled against him instead of pulling away. 

“You never told him, did you?” he asked softly and John shook his head. 

“I couldn’t find the words...I said it when he was asleep. He doesn’t...”

“He knows,” Thomas interrupted him. “Trust me, he knows. He’ll come back. He has to come back.”

“He better, I don’t want to be stuck with a lord for the rest of my life,” John teased, laughing though his tears. Thomas just chuckled and pressed a kiss against his hair, letting a few of his own tears fall, his heart aching as he thought of James.


	5. Chapter 5

“It’s all right you know,” Thomas said quietly and John looked over at him.

“What is?” he asked tiredly, his fingers playing with a knot on the kitchen table.

“All of it,” Thomas shrugged. “It’s all right to be sad, it’s all right to be angry with him. It’s all right to want me.”

John sucked in a sharp breath, looking at the fire. It had been over two months since James left on his new revenge mission, returning to England to hunt down Thomas’ uncle. They’d wanted to go after him, John especially, but they’d decided to stay. There really was nothing either of them could do anyway.

They’d grown closer in that time, sharing a bed now and then purely for comfort when one of them had a bad day, or in John’s case more often than not, a bad night. He woke screaming periodically and Thomas was always there in seconds, arms around him and lips pressed into his hair. 

“How do you know?” John asked finally, unwilling to deny it.

“I see the way you look at me,” Thomas chuckled. “Especially when you think I’m not looking.”

“I’m sorry,” John sighed. 

“Don’t be,” Thomas said quickly, reaching out and taking John’s hand. “Truly, it’s all right, I feel very much the same.”

“Really?” John asked, cautiously meeting Thomas’ eyes. Thomas smiled, standing and coming around the table, not letting go of John’s hand. 

“If you’d like, I can show you,” he said quietly and John nodded, allowing himself to be pulled to his feet and left to the bedroom. 

It was different than it had been with James. It was soft, slow. They took their time with each other, not in a rush, not desperately trying to make up for years of lost time. John sighed as shudders washed over him, the slowest and most drawn out release he’d ever experienced in his life, and when Thomas’ arms wrapped around him tightly he turned into him, burying his nose against his collarbone, only one thought left in his mind.

_“Please come home, James.”_


	6. Have I ever Lied to You?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> James is home!

It was storming again the night everything changed once more. 

Thomas was fast asleep, John curled across his chest, held tightly in his arms, their bare skin pressed together under the heavy blankets, the whole house cold in the dead of night, the rain pouring and beating down. It had taken a few months, but eventually they’d both gotten used to the storms and John no longer jumped at every thunderclap like it was a canon shot. 

It had been close to a year now, since James had left. They were both beginning to fear he wasn’t coming back and Thomas was aching with the desperation to go after him. He and John took comfort in one another most nights, but sometimes one or the other would lock themselves in their room for a day or two, wallowing in their own grief.

A particularly loud thunderclap shook the house and Thomas jerked awake, suddenly alert. He felt John stiffen against him, his hand tightening around Thomas’ ribs and he sat up slowly, reaching for the pistol they kept by the bed, within easy reach. 

“Did you hear it too?” John asked and Thomas nodded. They’d both heard the door slam under the sound of thunder. 

Carefully they pulled on trousers and shirts, listening for any sounds in the house, creeping toward the door silently, Thomas in front with the pistol and John behind him, one hand on his shoulder and a rag hastily wrapped around the end of his crutch to muffle the knock of wood on the floor.

They crept down the hall and Thomas could see a figure hunched over the fireplace, stoking the embers into life and he sighed, lowering the pistol. Beside him John shuddered, the hand on his shoulder tightening. 

James look up finally, and saw them standing there, barely an inch between them. His eyes darted back and forth for a moment as he came to a realization and he smiled softly, standing and taking a cautious step forward. 

They were still for long minutes before John moved forward with speed that would be impressive from a man with two legs and punched James square in the jaw. Thomas winced, but didn’t move. To be perfectly honest he would have punched James too, had be been in John’s position. 

James rubbed his jaw, eyes meeting John’s and seeing the angry fire burning there, half expecting it when John surged forward and kissed him desperately. James wrapped his arms around the other man, one hand tangling in his hair as he accepted John’s harsh kiss, returning it with just as much force. A moment later John wrenched away and glared at him before stepping back.

“Fuck you,” was all he said before he turned and pushed past Thomas, slamming the bedroom door behind him. 

Sighing, Thomas walked forward and wrapped James up in his arms, holding him tightly. 

“I’m sorry,” James whispered, returning the embrace.

“Is it done?” Thomas asked quietly, feeling James nod against him. 

“It’s done.”

“Good. And you came back.”

“I told you I would,” James said quietly. “Have I ever lied to you?”

Thomas chuckled, breathing James in, not caring that water from James’ wet clothes was soaking into his shirt and trousers. 

“Come to bed,” he said quietly. “Before you catch your death. I swear, the two of you and storms.”

James chuckled quietly, allowing Thomas to strip off his wet clothes as they made their way down the hall. James paused when Thomas opened the door John had slammed, his eyebrows raising. Thomas just shrugged, taking James’ hand and pulling him into the room, kissing him softly as they finished undressing.

John was already under the covers on the far side of the bed and at Thomas’ prodding, James slid in next to him, not quiet touching, but close enough to feel the heat off his skin. John sighed deeply, then turned, burying his face against James’ chest while Thomas scooted up against his back, keeping him trapped between them. James smiled at their possessiveness, burying his nose in John’s hair as he carefully wrapped his arms around him in the darkness, holding him close. 

“I didn’t expect to come back to this,” he admitted softly. 

“What exactly did you expect, leaving me with this beautiful man and nothing to distract me?” Thomas teased and John snorted. 

“I honestly thought you might have killed one another,” James yawned. 

“Go to sleep,” Thomas said softly. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”

James hummed and John tilted his head up, seeking out his lips in a much softer kiss, sliding his tongue along his lips and pressing inside, kissing him deeply until James was panting, before he pushed James on his back and leaned over to kiss Thomas just the same. Thomas hummed, his fingers carding through John’s hair and James was breathless, watching them kiss above him, his cock suddenly very very interested in what could happen between them in the morning. The kiss broke and John settled against James’ chest again and Thomas leaned down to kiss James softly.

“Sleep,” he whispered and they slept, the sound of rain beating down on the roof and blocking everything else out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may be the end of this, I dunno for sure.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m on Tumblr [Beneath The Black Sails](http://www.beneaththeblacksails.tumblr.com)


End file.
